Thought of the Sunday 23

Today I take my thought from Music and the Spoken Word, the weekly Mormon Tabernacle Choir program.  They always include a great message along with the music they present.  Last week's message was on choosing not to be offended.  In the context of my thought I don't know if the word offended is the right word; more like disappointed or hurt, which are synonyms for offended. 

"It seems to be a natural part of the human experience that we will, on occasion, be offended by someone. Criticism from a family member, a misunderstanding at work, or the unkind behavior of a neighbor—any of these can cause offense. It’s basically unavoidable: at some time, the behavior of another person will run counter to what we hoped would happen, and our feelings are hurt. When these painful moments occur, we have a choice to make. We can either choose to harbor feelings of resentment, or we can choose to deal with the offense in a constructive way and let go of the negative feelings."

What this is saying to me is that as humans we will experience some kind of negative reaction because of the actions of others (if you haven't then you may not be human).  I experienced this just last week.  I received a reaction from someone that I did not expect and it was upsetting and confusing.  It occupied my mind for most of the day until I started talking about it with my husband.  He listened to me and we talked together about it.  By the time we were finished I felt a lot better about the incident.   

"The initial pain of offense may be inevitable, but the ongoing suffering is optional."

It is up to me to control my reaction.  I like that it says that the initial reaction may be inevitable but it is what you do after that that really counts.  I think when we have experiences like this it gives us an opportunity to test our charity and love for others.  It is always hard to remember that everyone else has agency too and can choose for themselves, especially when you don't understand why they don't like your choice.  We can only control ourselves and if we have true charity for others we can accept them as a child of God and an important part of society.  It's important for me to remember that it is not their fault that I expected one thing but got something different.  We can have so much joy in our associations and relationships.  I am continually working at communication and not assuming things.  It doesn't always help but I like to think there has been some improvement in how I react to others and hopefully that can lead to greater charity.